E-mail re-writing

I don’t know how to handle this Business question and need guidance.

Business memo re-writing rubric:

• Put your sentences on a diet • Remove unnecessary information, focus only on the important information • Focus on tone/state your case respectfully • Identify your compelling argument • Rewrite the body of the e-mail • Include changes you would make to the To & Subject • Close respectfully and professional

Includes only the necessary information 5 points

Respectful tone and word usage 5 points

Includes an appropriate subject 5 points

Includes a respectful greeting & appropriate ending salutation 5 points

Uses correct grammar and sentence structure 5 points

Subject: points Dear Ann, I think that I was unfairly awarded a C in your finance class this term, and I am asking you to change the grade to a B. It was a difficult term. I don’t get any money from home, and I have to work mornings at the House of Pancakes (as a cook), so I had to rush to make your class, and those three times that I missed class were because they wouldn’t let me off work because of special events at the restaurant (unlike some other students who just take off when they choose). On the midterm examination, I originally got a 75 percent, but you said in class that there were two different ways to answer the third question and that you would change the grades of students who used the “optimal cost” method and had been counted off 6 percentage points for doing this. I don’t think that you took this into account, because I got 80 percent on the final, which is obviously a B. Anyway, whatever you decide, I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed this class, and I thank you for making finance so interesting.